Don't Put Yourself Last
It has been a while since I have shared my thoughts with you. I hope all is well.
I have been busy pursuing some things that will lay the foundation for my future. They were things that I had put off for a while. Things that help me hone my skills and see my future in a different way. You can find out more about what I have been up to at the end of this post.
What I really want to talk about is the misconceived notion that putting yourself last is worthy of celebration.
I meet so many people that cannot answer this question: "What do you really want to do with your life?"
This question stops most people cold in their tracks. They stumble over their words. Sometimes there is silence. At the end of a long pause, they usually say "I don't know. I don't know what I want to do with my life."
Sometimes the answer is given and measured by "I want to have..." filled in by a list of things.
What I don't hear is how they intend to nurture and love on themselves.
My heart broke the other day when I saw the breaking news story about Kate Spade. I know who she is and have even admired some of her designs. But I had not kept track of her as a person.
In the following days, snippets of her life story have surfaced. Kate lived the American dream. She was a creative entrepreneur that built a business from nothing and made millions of dollars doing it.
Kate had everything that we say is important: money, family, a nice home, fame. But there was one thing that Kate didn't have.
Here is a woman who gave up her business to stay home and raise her daughter. Her talents afforded her the lifestyle that most of us dream about.
But Kate was missing something.
Her sister described Kate's hidden struggle and how she pleaded with her to get help. I imagine Kate suffered from the same disease that catches a lot of us - there is always something more important.
Although Kate had a sense of her passion and gift to the world, she missed a key component of living a life full of love, peace, and joy. While you are busy caring about your business, your career, your family, and your money, you can't forget to care about yourself.
Putting yourself last is not noble.
No, I am not promoting a "me first" type of attitude. What I am promoting is the notion that caring about and for yourself is one of the most honorable things you can do for your life.
This doesn't mean that you never make a self-sacrifice. It does mean that you don't make a habit of sacrificing self to the detriment of yourself. Martyrdom is not a path we should walk every day.
Yet, so many of us do it. We go to work and put the company's goals above our own. We sacrifice what we want for the benefit of our family.
Let me pause here and say that I have made such sacrifices. And I don't regret them. But what I know now that I did not know then is this - a consistent pattern of sacrificing self will leave you on Burnout Alley headed towards a dead end cul de sac where Sick, Tired, and Depressed live.
Beloveds, we must take care of ourselves.
While we are busy giving to the world and pursuing our dreams, we cannot lose sight of what matters most.
I often point out that Jesus Christ, the son of God, rested. If you read the Gospel you will see that he made a habit of resting and going on his own retreats to pray. God incarnate took care of himself.
What life-nurturing habits do you have in your daily routine?
I remember the days when I would roll out of bed and go straight into my day without a pause. At the end of the day, I would feel exhausted. Years of this landed me in Burnout Alley. I was more than exhausted. I was running on empty. And on top of that, my physical body was sick from stress. I was falling apart.
What did I do to escape Burnout Alley?
I made a conscious decision one day to take care of "me." Someone said to me during that time, "Rebecca, you cannot pour from an empty cup."
In my heart, I had to much to give. But I felt trapped by my flat emotional state. I have given up the will to do. I was tired.
My slow drive back to an healthy emotional and physical state did not happen overnight. Step by step, I learned to take care of myself. And if I did it, you can do it to.
In this webinar, I will walk you through the habits you can use to start your day up right. Making these simple tweaks to your morning routine will get you off of Burnout Alley and on the road to your best life ever.
If you have questions about it, you can email me at email@example.com. You will get a personal (not canned) response from me.
I care about you. I want you to live your best life ever.
And you know that I am here always cheering for you.
Love and peace,
What have I been up to?
When I tell you that I can teach you how to crush your goals in 90 days, I mean it. Say "Hello" to Rebecca H. Mott, ASQ Certified Manager of Quality/Organizational Excellence. I started by setting my intention in February 2018. I used my own system to achieve this goal.
You can read more about ASQ, an international organization promoting quality, HERE.