Where is Your Fierce?
Our culture has fallen in love with victims. All over the news there are tragic stories of people who have fallen victim to crime and tragedy.
I don't mean to sound insensitive because my heart does go out to people who find themselves hurt by life circumstances. But when people get attention for whining and complaining about minor issues and problems that they themselves created, it drives me crazy.
I want to shout, "Where is your FIERCE?!"
having or displaying an intense or ferocious aggressiveness.
(of a feeling, emotion, or action) showing a heartfelt and powerful intensity.
Problems in your life NEVER "just go away." And when you allow minor problems to linger, they only multiply and become more problems. And usually BIGGER problems.
When we make a habit of talking about our problems to any one who will listen, it means we are NOT engaged in thinking about SOLUTIONS.
Let me ask you a question: what do you want all of the people you tell about your problems to DO?
Your answer is most likely "I don't want them to do anything. Just listen."
OK, I get it. And I have found myself ranting and venting about my frustrations.
But when you make a habit of talking about all of your problems, obstacles, and challenges, it prevents your brain from engaging in the thinking that it needs to do to solve your problem.
Whining even wrecks God's nerves. Have your read about the Israelites in the wilderness for 40 years? They couldn't get out because of their moaning, groaning, whining, and complaining.
This example is a metaphor for your life. You will NEVER, read my lips NEVER, get UNSTUCK until you stop talking about your PROBLEM and engage in talking about SOLUTIONS!
This requires a FIERCE mental disposition. You have to become sick and tired of being sick and tired.
You have to become sick and tired of being sick and tired.
In 2010 when I faced a major life illness, I made this decision. I was sick and tired for REAL. And my body shut me down! I had several relationships that were in shambles. And I felt like my career had stalled. I had several months to reflect on how I ended up in this situation. And when I hit the rewind button, I saw that the person that got me into this situation was ME. I was so mad at myself. So mad that I declared WAR on my problem.
At some point, you have to declare all out WAR on your problem. And you must become aggressive in pursuing the solutions that will get you out of your situation.
Some describe this FIERCE mental disposition as "having grit." It is a state of mind that pushes you to ACT in an aggressive way with heartfelt intensity and passion.
You have to declare WAR on your problem or situation!
Stop whining and complaining and use these strategies to SHIFT your mindset into a state of mental fierceness.
Get angry with yourself. The first step in getting into fierce mode is to get angry with yourself. I don't mean anger in a self-condemning and destructive way (as if you want to hurt yourself). I mean angry at yourself for ALLOWING this problem to grow out of control in your life. Where you are is the result of what you chose to ALLOW to show up and stay. You always have a choice to walk away or make a change. And you should be mad at yourself if you allowed other people to manipulate and control your world WITHOUT your permission. Say to yourself "I should have NEVER let this happen." And then get mad about it.
Decide "it ends today!" You need to make a FIRM decision that whatever it is, it ENDS TODAY. When you say this to yourself, you are giving yourself permission to make the changes you need to make. This kicks you into a gear of figuring out what you need to change for this to end. Your open your mind to understanding and creating what you want. At this point, you are ANGRY and READY for "it" to end. And this mental stance opens you to move into problem-solving mode.
Decide your next BOLD move. Now that you are angry and have decided this will absolutely end today, you have to make a bold and drastic move to push yourself outside of your comfort zone and into your warrior mode. It is time for you to make a major change. Most of us know what we should do. We just refuse to get angry enough to end the madness that is going on right now. Step into the arena with your FEAR and do what you need to do to make the change.
Tell yourself "I will not fail." When we are stuck, we convince ourselves that there is no way out of our situation. Your problem has you chained up in a dungeon with no way out. This is absolutely not true. There is ALWAYS a way out! You have to believe that there is a way and begin looking for it. And then you have to tell yourself over and over "I will not fail." Most of us are unaware that we have an inner critic inside of our head constantly telling us what we CAN NOT do. But when you tell yourself that failure is not an option, you force your brain to begin figuring out a way to get OUT of your situation.
Give your past a "Goodbye my love" kiss. One of the biggest obstacles to moving on is being addicted to your past. This is one of the hardest things to do. Your past is your comfort zone and you have most likely lived there a long time. Being fierce means taking the bittersweet pill of saying "Goodbye" to your past. Remember that your past is your TEACHER, so don't resent it. Love it for what it taught you and then MOVE through your tears into your FUTURE.
So, I ask again, "Where is your FIERCE?"
Stop complaining and whining about your situation. Look in the mirror, get angry with yourself, decide "it ends today!", figure out your next bold move, tell yourself "I will not fail," kiss your past good-bye and move into a better and brighter future.
There is a way out of your problem.
And it will require you to be unwaveringly fierce in the pursuit of your happy.
Know that I am cheering for you every step of the way.