Am I too Selfish?
(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.
Being selfish and self-centered is a turn-off for most people. No one appreciates someone who makes the whole universe revolve around them and only them.
But there is a fine line between being a selfish miscreant and someone who passionately lives out their Unique.
The magic is in where you draw the boundary line.
“Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where i end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom. Taking responsibility for my life opens up many different options. Boundaries help us keep the good in and the bad out. Setting boundaries inevitably involves taking responsibility for your choices. You are the one who makes them. You are the one who must live with their consequences. And you are the one who may be keeping yourself from making the choices you could be happy with. We must own our own thoughts and clarify distorted thinking.”
Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life
Living Your Unique requires you to set healthy boundaries and clarify distorted thinking. It is the responsible way to freedom.
Living Your Unique in an authentic way does NOT include thoughts that make others "less than" or "strange" because they are different from you. When you have a healthy view of Unique, you can acknowledge and appreciate other people's Unique.
Creating your own club of Unique and making everyone outside that circle the ENEMY is where you cross over from healthy boundaries to distorted thinking.
Living Your Unique requires you to acknowledge the VALUE of others. The world needs Your Unique, my Unique, and their Unique. When we unify behind the concept of appreciating the uniqueness of all people, we can live out an authentic love of self that is NOT selfish or self-centered.
Too many of us get suckered into the negative mental trap of groupthink. It makes our lives easier. Appreciation of the complexity of life and man is at the core of a healthy world-view.
Life is not simple. You are not simple. THEY are not simple. It is COMPLICATED.
Believing that everyone should "be just like me" is unhealthy and a direct attack on the Unique of others.
We are all different. And as soon as we learn to love and appreciate our differences, the world will become a more peaceful and loving place.
And as soon as you personally accept the challenge to Love Your Unique AND THEIR UNIQUE, your world will become a brighter place and more peaceful place.
Be selfish about Loving Your Unique. But while you are busy loving Your Unique, don't forget to step back and allow other people to Live THEIR own Unique.
It is just that simple. Your challenge is to fall in love the complexity of humanity.
And be brave enough to stand in your own complexity.