Take a Chance!
There is a burning in my heart and a voice inside of my head that says "Take a chance!"
But sometimes I don't listen. In fact, I ignore it.
Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it's often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life-paralysis.
Dr. Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection
I learned very early in life to hustle for approval. This caused me to adapt a limiting belief that says "I am not enough." Dr. Brene Brown cause this cycle "Please. Perform. Perfect."
The tricky thing about this belief is that it will lead you to a measure of success in your life. Many successful people have perfectionist tendencies that result in achievement.
The problem with attaining this type of achievement is that it is based in OPO - other people's opinions.
Perfectionism is other-focused - What will they think?
Dr. Brene Brown
People around us validate us based on our performance and we strive harder to reach higher levels of performance for one purpose - the praise of people. A pat on the back. Recognition. Reward.
What happens when you follow your heart and do something outside your comfort zone - and no one cares? People don't even bother to look your way or acknowledge your effort. What then?
I tell you what: depression and anxiety. I have been there.
I am NOT saying that you should throw all of your goals out of the window. No!
I am saying that your "Why" matters. It matters a LOT.
Have you ever stopped to ask yourself "why am I really doing this?" It is a big question.
Our "why" matters just as much as our "what."
Giving out of your spirit and living Your Unique requires you to answer this big question. And it is not easy to answer. We must go within and examine what is driving us.
Are there times that you stop yourself from taking a risk? Why is that?
Taking a risk comes in many forms.
Leaving a relationship.
Starting a new relationship.
Finding a new job or career.
Taking a promotion.
Following your dream.
Speaking up when you want to stay silent.
Having a crucial conversation.
Trying again. And again.
Perfectionists live in the space of "a sure thing."
It doesn't have to be this way. You can break free. Someone once said "feel the fear, and do it anyway." This is a good mantra for a perfectionist to adapt.
Being fearless comes with a price. The price of admission is failure. You will try and you will FAIL. Think of your most embarrassing moment in life. It feels just like that.
But embarrassment is based in shame. And shame will keep you stuck in a life that you don't want.
One of the best decisions that I ever made was the decision to FAIL. I tell people "I am failing my way forward." I mean it.
Two roads diverged in a wood and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.
Are you trapped in a cycle of perfectionism - Please. Perform. Perfect.?
What can you do to begin breaking free from OPO - other people's opinions?
What is your heart saying to you? Why aren't you following it?
What can you do today that is bold and fearless?
Life on the other side of perfectionism is full of freedom, love, laughter, and joy. I wish that for you.
If you need someone to hold you accountable in this journey, I am here for you.
The world needs Your Unique.
I am cheering for you!
P.S. Did you enjoy today's post? I am reading Dr. Brene Brown's book The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. It is all about living an authentic life. Let's embrace our Unique together!