Why Your Critics Have Power
There are days when I can fight the urge to be everything to everyone, and there are days when it gets the best of me.
Dr. Brene Brown
The most dangerous voice that you will hear is the voice of the critic. Criticism kills our dreams and squashes our creativity. We are left helpless and paralyzed by the cutting remarks and biting words. It can keep us from living our Unique and loving our Unique.
the expression of disapproval of someone or something based on perceived faults or mistakes.
Have you ever been zooming along have an absolutely awesome day when someone does IT. They say something that takes you down to ZERO. Have you ever asked yourself why this happens?
Well, I did. I was sick and tired of people raining on parade and ruining my day! So I asked myself a question: Why do their critical words bother me?
It took me a long time to find the answer to that question. So, I want to help you find it NOW so that you can quickly reach the place of absolute PEACE with Your Unique.
The first line of business is learning who to listen to and who to IGNORE. It is important that we recognize that NOT everyone's opinion matters! I put it this way, it matters who is doing the judging. Sometimes we make the wrong choice. We listen to the WRONG people. When you hear critical remarks, consider the source. What makes this person an expert or right ? If you want to be rich, then I highly advise you NOT to listen to poor people about how to manage your money. If you want to be fit and healthy, don't take advice from someone who is NOT already there. Listening to THEIR thinking and ideas will only keep you STUCK.
But what do you do when someone points out a flaw or weakness that is true? This is where it gets tricky. People will attempt to SHAME us by using our flaws and weaknesses to "cut us down to size." And their words strike us at the core of who we are. Ouch!
What is actually going on is that their words are matching the voice inside of our heads!
So for example, say that I am subconscious about being viewed as a "know it all." The truth is that I am SMART. But when someone says "You think that you know everything," it touches my fear of being a know-it-all. And that fear drives me to be irrational and emotional about my decisions. I go from living my Unique to hiding it so that I can "fit in" and be accepted.
The trick to breaking free is learning to accept the truth about yourself, love it, and live authentically in that truth. The truth is I am SMART. I must own this truth. And other people's commentary that I am a "know-it-all" doesn't change this truth.
Before breaking free, I used to give in to the critics. I would set out to prove that I was the OPPOSITE of smart so that I could be accepted. Now how dumb is that?
You can substitute SMART with pretty, successful, talented, happy, productive, nice, strong, tough, caring, etc. The point is this: the critics words touch a fear that already lives inside of you. If you want to break free, your job is to eliminate that FEAR and replace it with TRUTH.
As soon as you are able to embrace the TRUTH and walk in it, you will break free from the FEAR induced by critics.
Dan Cumberland at The Meaning Movement says that practicing COURAGE is the way to fight this fear.
Tiny Buddha reminds us not to give our power away by caring too much about what others think.
And if you want to know more about courage, head over to Dr. Brene Brown's website COURAGEworks.
Don't let your critics cancel out the best of you. Be brave. Be bold. Be courageous.
Love your unique and live your unique.
And know that I am cheering for you.