• Rebecca Mott

Be Different, Not Difficult

I passionately believe that YOU need to live inside of your difference. Your Unique is your POWER and you will produce amazing results in your life when you learn to walk in the Power of Your Unique.

But living inside of your difference can cause you to rub people the wrong way. Simply put “everybody will not like you.” As I have talked about in previous posts, some people will call you “weird” and “strange” because you do not fit the mode of “normal.” (Normal is OVERRATED!).

This kind of feedback from the world around us can cause us to adapt a very defensive attitude. And that attitude can cause us to be stubborn, angry, sarcastic, aggressive, and generally difficult. If you want to leverage Your Unique, you will have to get past this type of defensive behavior. Although everyone will not like you, adopting a pleasant attitude and positive outlook will help you improve the relationships that you care about.

Here are some strategies to help you break past those tendencies:

  • Be tolerant. The fact that you don’t like some people around you and they don’t like you must not affect how you relate to them. In this case, you need to have a positive mental attitude and be tolerant toward other people. Refuse to reflect their intolerant and unpleasant behavior. Try to adopt an easygoing, confident, and relaxed lifestyle and demonstrating that you are easy to get along with.

  • Practice liking other people. The famous line “I never met a man I didn’t like” was Will Roger’s way of getting along with other people. You can improve your relationship with other people by creating opportunities to genuinely recognize their positive qualities; remembering their names; treating people with the respect; concentrating on your own goals; and focusing on making your own life better. Don’t let their critical attitude get inside of you.

  • Be flexible in the way you respond to people’s behavior. When you learn how to be flexible when responding to difficult people, you will take them off guard. People who are aggressive in the way that they deal with others expect certain responses. When you don’t give the expected response, it confuses them. Their goal is to draw you into their drama. Your goal should be to avoid it. The secret to this is choosing the proper response and specific behaviors like:

  1. If they are always reacting aggressively, be responsible and patient. Don't react, focus on responding.

  2. If they have their own personal grudge, build goodwill with them by avoiding discussion about pet peeves.

  3. If they never admit that they are on the wrong side, avoid ridiculing them, sarcasm, and direct criticism. Deal with this kind of behavior calmly and in private. Set boundaries with them and let them know you will NOT tolerate their disrespect.

  4. If they are argumentative, stay calm and focus on the facts. Don’t allow them to “push your buttons” and cause you to be reactive.

  5. If they are being talkative and argumentative, exit the conversation quickly by pretending that you have another appointment.

  6. If the situation is ongoing, seek out other people who may have experienced their bad behavior and band together to create a support group.

  • Keep your relationship with them formal and at the same time friendly. Being casual or formal doesn’t actually mean avoiding other people altogether. This means that you need to confine all your interest to specific topics and stay away from conversations that will lead to disagreement. Give up on trying to “change their mind” or “convince them.” Entering a conversation with someone who has a strong opinion is a sure-fired way to cause problems.

Remove your ego. Your ego might be acting against relationships and getting along with other people. The "I am right" and "You are wrong" kind of thinking gets in the way of creating connection with people. You will find that the more you try to be considerate to other people, the more smoothly things will go – you will have less drama and more peace. Let them believe they are right and walk away. Their opinion can’t impact your world. Their opinion of you is none of your business. Your opinion and beliefs are what will ultimately create your life.

Living as “different” can be a very uncomfortable place. But we don’t have to let this create disruption in the relationships around us. Everybody won’t like you, but somebody will. Focus on the “somebodies” who do like you and move away from people who criticize you for your DIFFERENCE.

Adopt a positive outlook and attitude. This will begin attracting more of those “somebodies” who will discover what we already know: You are awesome!

I am cheering for you as you break outside of your comfort zone and embrace Your Unique.

Love Your Unique. Live Your Unique.

P.S. Are you enjoying my content? Be sure to share it. Let's spread the positive message of loving Your Unique.

#peace #difference #patience #stress #frustration

© 2016 by The Art of U by Rebecca LLC

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