The Pathway to Growth
The process is the passion.
The pathway to growth and Loving Your Unique is littered with pain.
I wish I could tell you different, but the truth is that it will be littered with pain.
We cannot break past our fears without going down the path of pain. Many of us try to avoid that. We use all types of excuses and coping mechanisms to deny this truth. This truth is: Sometimes you must hurt to be healed.
I am NOT subscribing to you that you put up with abusive behavior. You are better than that. What I want you to know is that your pathway to healing goes directly through the valley of pain.
Most of us spend our entire lives trying to avoid this valley. We deny what we have survived. It is too painful.
I pull today's lesson from a person out of the Bible. His name was Job. Job lost everything he had - his family, his fortune, and his health. He was so low that he uttered this "Leave me alone. Life makes no sense."
When we take a walk through the valley of pain, life makes no sense. We relive the situations that caused us the pain. And we conclude that withdrawing from the world around us is the solution.
Instead of encouraging you to "snap out of it" as so many others do, I want to encourage you to lean into it. What I mean is that going THROUGH the valley of pain is the only way that you will heal and reach your freedom. There is purpose in your pain.
How do you walk through the valley of pain without losing your mind? I am glad that you asked. Try these five steps to help you.
Share your story. There is nothing more powerful than having someone say to you "You are not alone." When we isolate from others and refuse to confess our pain, we begin thinking that we are in this all alone. There is NOTHING that you are going through that somebody somewhere else hasn't experienced. Everything from child abuse to abandonment are more common than you think. Search the internet and Facebook to find a support group. You are NOT alone.
Get support. We have to realize that we are weak in the areas where we have experienced the deepest pain. You need loving people who can support you as you PROCESS your pain. Don't be afraid to reach out to people and ask for help and support. You are worth it.
Make your healing a priority. So many times, we put our healing on hold because we are "busy." We fail to take the time that we need to PROCESS what we are thinking and feeling. You will NEVER get past your pain and walk in freedom until you reach a healthy place of forgiveness and acceptance. The journey there will not "just happen." You will have to be intentional and make it a priority. Follow my blog and commit to answering some of the questions in my post. It will help you move through your journey.
Dare to be vulnerable. Dr. Brene Brown's ground-breaking work on vulnerability helps us see that being vulnerable is a strength and not a weakness:
“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't
always comfortable, but they're never weakness.”
― Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms
the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
We must dare to bare what we feel and think to the world. We will face rejection in doing it. We will enter the "arena" and battle for our very souls. But we CANNOT avoid this battle. We must face it with courage and the faith that freedom will come if we persist.
Believe in YOU. This journey towards freedom and Living Your Unique is tough. In the end you must believe that you can do this. Despite what you have been told, you are ENOUGH. You are strong enough and wise enough to get through your valley without failing. This belief will give you the determination that you need to go THROUGH your valley of pain.
And above all, understand that this is a process.
a series of actions or steps taken in order to achieve a particular end.
This is not an overnight event. It is a process where you walk step-by-step to get you to your destination.
I am here for you on your journey. Your pain does NOT define you. You can get past it and live your best life ever.
Know that you are ENOUGH. You are smart enough, beautiful enough, and good enough.
And Your Unique is beautiful.